No matter how long you’ve been married, contemplating divorce can be difficult, especially if you’re not positive that you want one. Each person in the marriage and the marriage itself are unique, so, unfortunately, there isn’t a one size fits all answer. But there are some warning signs you should watch out for if you feel your marriage is getting rocky.
We’ll discuss some signs you should watch out for in your marriage. If you notice any of these issues, it’s best to talk to your spouse to determine if they are issues that the two of you can work to resolve. Here are ten signs that may yield a call to a divorce attorney.
1. Lack of Communication
Communication is essential in any relationship. Although you don’t have to have meaningful communication with your spouse all day, every day, you may be headed for trouble if all you talk about is the weather and you can’t seem to hold a normal conversation.
It’s also important to remember that communication isn’t just about speaking up for yourself. It’s about not only listening to but hearing what your spouse has to say as well.
2. Lack of Intimacy
Having chemistry with your spouse is what drew you together. And that chemistry can ebb and flow for many different reasons throughout a marriage. But when you’re consistently not intimate with your spouse, that could be a problem.
If you find that the two of you are no longer interested in sex, snuggling, or quietly spending time together, that can signify that your marriage lacks intimacy. And when one person craves intimacy and isn’t getting it from their spouse, that can lead to infidelity.
Finances are one of the top reasons a couple gets divorced. If a couple can’t agree on financial decisions in their marriage, a divorce is likely in their future.
4. Your Relationship Isn’t Your First Priority
After they get married, sometimes couples find that they are spending less time with their significant other. Distractions such as work, kids, hobbies, and life, in general, put a damper on the time you spend together as a married couple.
Obviously, it’s important to be a good parent, and taking time for yourself is essential for your mental well-being, so redirecting your priorities may solve the problem. However, when you are choosing other activities over your spouse, you could be heading for trouble.
5. You Won’t Argue
You read that right. You won’t argue with your spouse. Arguments in a marriage are typical and can be very healthy. Arguing with your spouse means that you both care about an issue and want your spouse to hear your viewpoint and find the best resolution for your relationship.
When you avoid arguments simply to avoid arguing, resentment can build up since disagreements are going unresolved. This can lead to a bigger fight in the future. Arguments that don’t get out of control can be very productive in your relationship. When you have nothing to fight for, you may be losing the will to fight for your marriage.
6. Your Parenting Views Differ Considerably
You and your spouse should agree on the big things regarding children, such as whether or not you want to have any and what values you want to raise your kids with. Being a parent is hard, so it's important to see eye to eye with your spouse on significant issues.
7. You Feel Disrespected
Respect is vital in a relationship. If one spouse feels disrespected, it can lead to feelings of resentment, loneliness, isolation, and abandonment. No one wants to feel this way, and definitely not in their own home.
8. Someone Cheated
When a spouse has been unfaithful, that is an obvious sign of trouble in the marriage. While it is possible for a couple to renew their intimacy and move past the infidelity, sometimes that isn’t possible. If the cheated spouse can’t move past the affair, or if the cheating spouse wants to leave the marriage, divorce will be the best solution.
9. You Are a Victim of Domestic Abuse
Physical and emotional abuse are both forms of domestic abuse. Deciding to divorce in this situation can be difficult because there may be periods of time when things are peaceful and going well. One may also choose to stay in the marriage out of fear that your spouse may harm you or your children should you leave.
When any type of domestic abuse is occurring, you should seriously consider divorce. Many resources are available to help you transition to a safe place for you and your children.
10. You’re Already Planning Life After Divorce
If you’ve been researching divorce, spousal support, child support, or looking for a job or a home in a different city, you’ve subconsciously made your decision. If you are already planning your life after divorce, it’s time to speak with an experienced divorce attorney.